See the fat rat? It works for Cell
So, in an earlier post, we made the mistake of giving the benefit of the doubt to your average academic mega-journals. We coulda sworn they wanted readers to participate in making their brands snowy-white and super awesome. But no, as always, we here are wrong and look like assholes.
You see, as we were just about to BOMB on a paper in their comments section, we found out that, lo-and-behold, even fucking COMMENTS on Cell are subject to editorial scrutiny and cannot be anonymous! This seems even stranger when you consider that referees for the journal enjoy the very unique privileges of light editorial scrutiny and nameless, faceless back-room dealing!
This behavior is typical of the preening self-conscious folks who run such shops. We’re not wholly surprised, considering the percentage of them who couldn’t be real scientists, and would rather chat about it.
Thanks, Cell Editors. Very brave of you to feign letting two-nanoseconds of self-doubt and ulterior scrutiny invade your cushy world. Instead, you’ve again exposed the fact you’d rather make funny mp3-type things for the Interwebs and run a journal whose editorial excellence is on par with those magazines where we can see funny pictures of Lindsay Lohan’s sagging ass.
For such profiles in courage, we here at Pasigraphy are giving out our first moniker, which we encourage you all to use in lunch chats. Noting the general decline in quality suffered at the Cell family, their daughter journals which spread like pestilence, and the rat-like behaviors noted above, we nominate a new species to E.O. Wilson’s Encyclopedia of Life:
This species can be observed in its natural habitat: a Midwest bar at a middling scientific conference, handing out favors to uber-PIs who say big words and buy them cocktails. We’ll see how long that impact factor of theirs can remain outside the Cell-arsDwellars other favorite roost: the basement.
Lastly, check back here soon. We’ll be positively RIPPING on the editorial discretion exercised by Cell-arsDwellars and their verminous brethren.
