Hagiographic Silliness

So, the Interweb is a pretty haughty place; Christ, you’re reading our blog. That said, we wish academic journals would leave the bragging and self-analysis to people like Chris Crocker and all those folks on Twitter. But no, Cell Press, in a typical sign of the flagging and flailing life of their brand, introduces us to the perfectly ridiculous “PaperClips” feature.

 In short, after you’ve fought tooth-and-nail to get into an exclusive lab run by a “star” investigator, you not only gain their privileged access to journal editors…you get to work 70 hours a week so your advisor hang out with the editors for a few minutes after your manuscript gets accepted with minimal revisions and discuss how beautiful and insightful your advisor is! On top of that, Web2.0 records it all and broadcasts it to the UNIVERSE! Hooray, maybe Cell will make a podcast so the hiring committee for the faculty position you’re applying to can listen to your advisor’s brilliance while riding the bus to work!

 Seriously, of all the things a struggling publishing house needs to focus on, it’s not web-y interactive features and self-congratulatory pats on the back. If you’re loosing readers and lowering your impact factor…you’ve got to solicit and publish better content.  We give three cheers to the taller-than-average kids who get to publish in Cell, but we don’t want to attend your advisor’s birthday party and don’t want to hear them talk about their Christmas presents. Here’s to letting content be king.

 (Finally, we especially enjoyed how Boston-area investigators endured the same painful teleconference as suckers from the West Coast.  Personally, we liked those days when Ben Lewin just walked over to your office with your reviews, and didn’t make a fuss of it. Nice attempt at faux Cantabrigian neutrality, Cell-ers!)

 Please pass on any similarly displeasing moments of journal-y incestuousness.